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Fangirl Goals and World Domination Plans - Onicia Update - January 2018

Lead Image 2018

Welcome to 2018! Thanks for faithfully reading my Onicia Updates and for encouraging me on this journey towards world domination. Wait. What? Oh, yeah. I grew up on Spice Girls, girl power, and all the Disney princesses; ruling the world was always the end goal.

Now that you're up to speed, I'd like to reveal my plans for 2018. This year, I would like to collaborate more. There's an African proverb that says “If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.” I want to go far! To do that, I'm kindly asking you to show me all the funny, inspirational, dedicated, unique, community-minded people. Whether for entertainment, education, or professional connections, I just want to meet more interesting people.

This month, I have a few shows coming up, The Stoop is back, and I wrote some cool articles last month. Also, I added a new feature to my newsletter. Check out these 10 things I'm fangirlin' for.

So, will you help me go far and achieve world domination*? That's all I gotta say today. Got something I should see or someone I should collaborate with? Email me or shout at me on Twitter.

*If I can't become ruler of the world, I'll settle for eating ice cream on Fridays. That's a goal worth striving for.

Upcoming Events

Am I Man Enough: I Jumped Off The Cliff (Volumes Bookcafe)
Storytelling
January 10, 2018

The Stoop: You Got Me F*cked Up (Rosa's Lounge)
It's The Stoop's 5-year anniversary!
January 25, 2018

The Kates (Book Cellar)
Stand-up Comedy
January 27, 2018


Published Writings

As a person with chronically cystic or lumpy tissue, Bev Spangler was no stranger to mammograms. Once Bev’s friends learned of her cancerous lump, they came together to plan a Creativity Curing Cancer event.

In this installment of Just Being Funny, I lie to myself about a breakfast ritual that caused me to rip 8 pairs of pants in one year. *covers face in shame*



click to tweet


Heaux, Heaux, Heaux! Holiday TV Movies For You (Heauxs Magazine)
Nothing fuels the bad movie machine more than the holidays! We've got 8 brand new holiday films we're (hate) watching and you should be too—

RAEKA Beauty is Changing the Beauty Industry (HuffPost)
Holistic healing systems have been widely accepted in India for centuries. RAEKA Beauty, which features the world’s first and only turmeric peel-off facial mask, is on a mission to change the American beauty industry.

JBF: Take it Like A Woman (The Daily Herald)

Listen, Rebecca! I'm just a teenage girl with a hundred-dollar monthly allowance. I ain't giving you all my coins. Just dump this here creamy crack on my head and let me rinse it out AT HOME.



Onicia Update - December 2017
Onicia Updates - November 2017
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Created on St. Maarten. Based in Chicago. Onicia Muller (@OniciaMuller) writes, says funny things, and enjoys hanging with creative minds. 
Support the arts by buying me ice cream or telling your Twitter homies.

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